EPISODE 100 – HERE’S TO THE WOMEN: LESSONS LEARNED FROM 100 EPISODES
Here’s to the women who chose to take their own path.
Here’s to the women who chose uncertainty even though it was scary as hell.
Here’s to the women doing the work their MIL called them stupid for doing.
Here’s to the women who were told their dream was a waste of time.
Here’s to the women who create even though their husbands or their mothers don’t understand.
Here’s to the women who work their asses off behind the scenes and have the scars and tear stains to prove it.
Here’s to the women who have ever felt left out and they didn’t belong.
Here’s to the women who have put an end to the popularity contests.
Here’s to the women who show up as they are regardless of what their SIL or friends from high school will think of them.
Here’s to the women who don’t laugh off the ‘sandwich maker’ jokes because you knew he ‘meant well’.
Here’s to the women who stand up in the room and share their stories even though they differ from the rest.
Here’s to the women who genuinely care about celebrating and including all women.
written by Katelyn Duban
Today, on my 100th episode – I want to share with you some of the biggest lessons and takeaways I’ve learned in the last two years – as well as answer an important question I received from the Patrons of the Podcast.
The first lesson I want to share came from my dear friend Billi J. Miller all the way back in the start – episode #2. Billi is the author of two incredible books Farmwives in Profile and Farmwives 2. Something Billi said in our conversation has stuck with me to this day. ‘We don’t need anyone to define us, we get to define who we are’. So if that means you call yourself a farm wife or a ranch wife, or you define yourself as a farmer, rancher, homesteader – that’s a choice you get to make and it’s your choice alone. I am proud to be a farmer, a podcaster, entrepreneur, coach, goat wrangler and a cat rancher. Be proud of who you are and what you do on your operation – and please, for the love – whatever you define yourself as – take out the ‘just’ in front of it. You are not a JUST. You are a freaking boss ass ‘insert-title-here’.
My next lesson is one that I am still continuing to learn and it’s been a hard one. Though celebrating and sharing the stories of women in Ag may be something that I am deeply passionate about and have made it my mission – not everyone who is close to me will share, understand or support it. Let me give you a bit of context – when I started my journey in sharing my story online or through my podcast – it wasn’t something I shared widely with people I personally knew. There were a lot of imposter syndrome type things I was working through and didn’t share as I was afraid of their judgement. It’s taken me a long time to get to the place where I can be open and honest with you about all these topics and things I have struggled with. My vulnerability is not meant as a call for sympathy but more of a way to let others know that if they have ever felt similar – they aren’t alone.
The content I create and share with the world is not for everyone. Whether its because they’re not interested in it or they don’t like my style – whatever the case may be – it’s just not for them. And that’s okay. Not getting support from your close friends or family for the work you’re doing is hard. It’s damn hard. But it might not be for them. And like I have said – that’s okay. My life isn’t what some of my loved ones may have pictured for me or what they wanted. Learning to face that reality has been one of my biggest challenges. I have learned to be okay with it and move on.
Its my dream and my vision to bring these stories to life, not theirs. Does it mean they don’t love me? Of course not. So if you’ve had a dream or have been working on something your spouse or your mom or friend don’t get or tell you is a waste of time, etc. Please know that I’ve been there and just know that you have at least one person here rooting for you, girl friend.
The last lesson I want to share with you is one I am quite passionate about. I believe that there is always room at the table and I truly believe in community over competition. I can remember seeing a comment from a quite infamous podcaster in the Ag space soon after I launched The Rural Woman Podcast. They made a tweet that said ‘great, ANOTHER Ag podcast – just what we need’. Now I have no idea who they were talking about – maybe it was even me – but I remember thinking – so what? What does another person who decided to start a podcast do to you or your show? One of the biggest reasons I wanted to start this podcast was because, at the time, there wasn’t one out there that met my listening needs. Think of all of the great ideas that never come to fruition because of the idea that there is already enough of xyz in the market. This lesson sparked a couple of ideas and projects that I have been working on.
First, I am excited to announce that I am now officially offering one-on one podcast coaching for people who are ready to launch the idea they’ve had in their heart into a podcast. Before You Buy The Mic is my podcasting coaching and toolkit created to get your idea to the earbuds of your ideal listeners. Your podcast doesn’t need to be specifically about agriculture, it can really be about anything you want – but know if it IS about Ag I’m here for it and am ready to help get you on your way. I will leave more information in the show notes about my one on one podcast coaching services and please please feel free to reach out. I’m here and happy to help.
The next project I want to share with you – which you may have seen me share on social media recently – I have teamed up with my friend Bev Ross who you heard back in episode 94, co-host of the Drink and Farm podcast and host of her new show the Joy Farmer Podcast, to launch Positively Farming Media. Positively Farming Media is a hub for creators in the food and agriculture space to connect and positively Collaborate for growth. Our mission is to build a community that connects and cultivates growth oriented farm and food story tellers. We’ve launched the Positively Farming Media Mastermind which is peer-to-peer podcast mentoring group developed with the goal of fostering connection and collaboration between podcasters in the food and agriculture space. We’ll be hosting Monthly training for current podcasters designed to increase shows quality, listenership, and advertising opportunities. Some Examples of topics include monetization, asking the right interview questions, streamlining the production & distribution of your podcast, and more. Bev and I will host Semi-monthly group calls & discussions focusing on specific topics each month. This is a way for podcasters in the food and agriculture space to come together and grow. Right now, we are offering founding member pricing for people who join the mastermind before June 30, 2021 at just $20 a month. Membership fees will go up after that so don’t miss out. We at Positively Farming Media is committed to supporting and amplifying the voices of BIPOC Farmers & Podcasters. BIPOC members of Positively Farming Media Mastermind will have their membership fees waved indefinitely as a benefit in-kind. So head to positivelyfarmingmedia.com to learn more and to register! Our first module will go live on our private online group on Monday, May 3. I am so extremely excited to learn, grow and keep building a bigger table.
I posed the question for my Patrons on The Rural Woman Podcast if there was anything they’re like me to speak about specifically or questions they would like me to answer on my 100th episode. Here is one I received:
What are some of the ways you are supporting BIPOC farmers through the Rural Woman Podcast as well as with your platform on IG?
I am still learning, listening, and building connections. I try my best to support BIPOC business’ online and locally in my community, but admittedly still buy from Amazon (I’m working on it). I’m the one at zoom family dinners who speaks up and speaks out even though it can be damn uncomfortable. I’m willing to put myself out there, even if I screw up, because this is the work I said I was going to do.
I publicly made a commitment to amplify the stories of BIPOC people, women specifically, in mid 2020, like I know a lot of other people did too. Remember those black squares? We saw a flood of overwhelming support in spaces and places – which if we’re being honest – the majority of those waters dried up about as fast as they washed in.
Being asked this question shouldn’t make a person feel attacked or being called out. It’s called being accountable for doing the thing you said you were going to do. And doing it even when it’s not trending on Instagram.
I’m going to say the wrong thing, I am going to feel like I don’t know enough, I am going to sometimes fall on my face. But if I learned anything over the last year is that showing up and doing the work to unpack the systems of injustice that are all around – and specifically for people of colour – the work can’t stop when it’s no longer trendy, the work can’t stop because your follower account may drop. My message to you – if you said you would stand up but sat down because you were tired or frustrated – get back up and be accountable to the person you said you were going to be.
My privilege is a tool and I’m just scratching the surface of how to use it – the right way.
Ok, I was misty after this one. (And, BTW, I giggle every time you say that because I usually was several minutes before your comment. ;-))
I just saw a post from another one of my favorite female homestead podcasters that said someone had told her her husband wasn’t doing enough if they were only living in a double wide trailer. Oy! The bashing has to stop. It doesn’t serve anyone. So I’m reaching out to each of my favorite podcast peeps to show you how much you are appreciated.
We need to lift and encourage each other during the good times and bad. Appreciate each others differences rather than judge, and learn from everyone’s different thoughts on things. And, you do this really well in every episode.
So, thank you for this episode and for all the others. Thank you for all that you do and share.
Having grown up farming back in the 80s, it was an even less friendly place for women, so I’m incredibly grateful to have these new ways for all of us to connect, share, and encourage each other.
Thank you for being and encouraging the light in all of us. You are amazing!
Much love sista
Hillary, thank you! I so appreciate your message and sentiment #agSupportsAg ❤